So – I had a massage in Thailand. In fact I had 2.

Not the weird, oily, naked kind you might expect of a young (ahem, ok young-ish), single man.

Instead I went for a head, shoulder and back massage to ease away the pains of bumpy roads and bad beds. It was painful before, worse during the treatment but much, much better after the healing hands of my masseuse had done their job. And cheap as well – 200 Baht for an hour – about £4.

I’d spent a while agonising about getting massaged in Thailand – I could already imagine the comments my friends would hit me with. Needless to say it was all above board and for me the happy ending came when I paid the agreed price for the advertised massage, no funny business, no touchy-touchy. Thank goodness as well – since I’d deliberately chosen a venue where the massage tables were in full sight of the street and I had other customers either side! No one wants to see anything more than traditional massage in that context…

My second massage was altogether more kinky. Tiny little fish nibbling on the dead skin on my feet to exfoliate and soften those hard, calloused areas. Here’s a pic of the little blighters tucking in. I don’t know how I managed this, as many of you know fish are a personal nemesis. Tiny little fish that eat you did nothing to take me any closer to triumph over my silly phobia!

One for the mechanically recovered toe fans…

Oooh – check out the flip-flop tan line!

Until next time… look after your backs and don’t try sticking your feet in the local canal expecting a tender nibble from a fish, you’ll probably catch something nasty.