I’ve just had my final travel injection. I’m now basically invulnerable.

And it only cost c£550. Eat your heart out Tony Stark.

I’m impervious to rabid everything and I laugh in the tiny faces of Ticks and their pathetic Encephalitis! Their Kung-Fu is weak in the face of the vaccines coursing through my veins.

Kudos to the NHS’s nurse Mark. He was so gentle I didn’t feel a thing.

Thanks also to my friend Amy (also in the medical game) for reassuring me that none of the jabs were in the buttocks and saving me from the embarrassment of any preemptive trouser dropping.